Harvey Vs Mum

[katy_harvey]

So you know how I said recently that my mum was on holiday and Harvey was behaving himself entirely. Not running at the door barging to get out, running about, biting us etc. But my mum comes back and hes up to his old tricks, its not like he is doing the stuff to my mum, he is just acting naughty full stop! Running full force at the door to get out, jumping on top of my mum, biting her arms for no reason, digging at her etc etc

There HAS to be a reason why my mums presence brings out his horrible side. He has been good as gold all week. Its a strange predicament. Because of his behaviour my mum wants me to move out, something I cannot afford to do if I want an education

Help!! Lol

P.S I think it's cus she's sitting in his seat

[lnelson87]

jazz acts up with my dad as well but i dont live at home so its not as bad does your mum dicipline him? my dad never did but does now the whole family have been consistent with his training and dicipline and its made a big difference he has the same rules the matter were he is

[kglacer]

that's not very nice of her! considering her lack of interest in helping you train Harvey in the first place is the reason why he treats her that way. I mean my mom doesn't even live in the same province as me but when she came to visit for 10 days she was more than interested in helping me train Finn and even came to 2 classes with me. I mean I guess if you're mom's not a dog person than she's not a dog person but a couple good corrections on her part when Harvey was jumping and biting at her probably could have solved some of the problems!

When he's biting your mom what do you or she do? I can't remember if you've kept the leash on him or not but that's what I had to do. I basically had to correct with the leash and if that didn't work pretty much hold him far enough away so he couldn't bite until he calmed down, and then once he calmed down you know give him a toy or something to release his frustration out on instead of me. I get your mom not wanting to get off the couch and leave the room every time Harvey decides to bite her but with the leash she could at least get a hold of it and hold him away from her until he calms down etc.

I think I might have said this before but with Finn I basically just avoid him having alone time with Brian because I don't want Brian to counteract all my efforts. If you're not there to correct Harvey when he's biting your mom then maybe he should be in the crate until you are available? And if you are there then just take the extra effort to correct him on BEHALF of your mother lol and put him in time outs if he has to.

If my Finn can stop biting me after how HORRIBLE he was about it, then I know Harvey can stop biting your mother. Finn likes to bite at my boyfriends mother and if I myself was a dog and this woman who gives off a "non-dog" vibe squeeled like a pig every time my mouth remotely came close to her - I sure as hell would probably wanna bite her too!!!!!!!!!! lol I'm human and when I see the way Brian's mom act that way stupidly I wanna bite her too! hahahaha enough of my rant there but anyways you just gotta keep consistent with him and don't give him the opportunity to bite your mom which means a close eye on him but it will be worth it rather than moving out when you wanna continue education!! Basically you have to do your mother's share of the work but Harvey will eventually learn not to bite her! When Finn was biting my friend I asked should I be correcting him or should my friend who's being bit do it and I was told either way he will learn.

I was also told recently because Finn likes to bite some of my guests - TIME OUT! so I'll pass that along haha time out time out time out! You bite mum, you get time out! He will catch on!

[katy_harvey]

My mum diciplines him in her own way. I ask her to comply with the rules Ive set but "its not my dog so I shouldn't have to do it". Shes soo annoying. By doing a few simple things for a few weeks will stop months of bad behaviour, years even. But she won't do it . But things like jumping at the door is a weird one to tackle, nothing has changed apart from my mum being back.. weird.

[lnelson87]

dont let ur mum interact with him if she is not complying with ur training

[katy_harvey]

Well we do try this, but Harvey just basically comes up and annoys her & I don't fancy having him on a long line whenever my mums around, that would be unfair on him lol.

I guess I just have to move out lol!!

[Kieraaa]

I agree about the lead aswell if ur mum wont help with the training because if u do nothing about it he knows he's getting away with it.U have to be consistent with him.It would make a big difference for everyone if they all helped in harveys training.

[katy_harvey]

I know right! I asked her to stand up and back him into a corner when he comes up to our plates so that he will realise that thats where he is to stay when eating, her reply "oh but I just want to eat my dinner in peace!" YOU WONT GET PEACE IF YOU DONT DO IT WOMAN!! ughh. Lmaoo.
I have asked her to get up and walk away from him if he mouths her, she's all like "oh but I have just come in from work I want to relax..."
I just cba with her, I wish I could just sit upstairs with him but the cats wouldn't be happy in one bit.

I guess the dog comes first, my education second. I think I am going to get a full time job by the end of the year and move out!

But I dont like the training lead idea, specially if I have to do house work or whatever I can't hold onto the lead all night. He is only a problem with my mum, nobody else has a complaint about him (besides my boyfriend, he's clearly jealous though haha). So if I were to move out everything would be solved. It's just I don't want to move out yet lol!

I will try harder with my mum, if she won't comply I guess I will resort to the lead

[wolftexas]

If your mom is not going to abide by the rules I would just teach Harvey that your mom is off limits. Do not allow him to come to her, accept food from her, be close to her. My grandmother is too old to fool with my dogs so from the very beginning they are bonded to me and me only. They are scolded for being in her way and if they come up for petting they are denied or scolded. She never treats them and only if I am out of town does she feed them or even call them by name. This will take work on your part though because you have to teach Harvey that your mom is nothing to him. It seems as if he thinks she is his playmate and that is causing some problems.

[katy_harvey]

(01-31-2012 02:09 PM)wolftexas Wrote:  If your mom is not going to abide by the rules I would just teach Harvey that your mom is off limits. Do not allow him to come to her, accept food from her, be close to her. My grandmother is too old to fool with my dogs so from the very beginning they are bonded to me and me only. They are scolded for being in her way and if they come up for petting they are denied or scolded. She never treats them and only if I am out of town does she feed them or even call them by name. This will take work on your part though because you have to teach Harvey that your mom is nothing to him. It seems as if he thinks she is his playmate and that is causing some problems.

This is what I thought, because he tries to engage her in play and she tells him to go away when she doesn't want to etc. But then she will play with him at other times so obv it is giving him mixed up signals. Unlike my dad who plays with him ALL the time, he loves my dad, my dad = awesome, in his eyes lmao but he does what my dad says. I dont think he has much respect for my mum lol.
But this still doesnt explain why he jumps at the door only when my mum is here lol, that makes no sense the door jumping angers her most!

I will try and take your suggestion of no contact at all with my mum UNLESS she can abide my training rules! I seem to be the only one trying to help the dog, I got him pretty well trained, well I thought I had him pretty well trained he passed his test anyways lol!

[jewels]

I agree with you on this, there's nothing more frustrating than your family not supporting you in training your dog, I have the same problem with my parents - they encourage all the bad behaviour in Keira like jumping up when greeting and also do ridiculous things like tell her off for having an accident in their kitchen. Luckily for me I don't live with them so it's only an occasional issue but I imagine for you this is a constant battle and source of tension for everyone in your home.

I have a couple of thoughts in your Mum's defence though. Looking at the situation from her perspective (forgive me if I've misjudged this) - although Harvey is living (or in your Mum's view lodging) in her house, she doesn't consider him to be her dog and therefore she feels put upon if she is expected to alter her habits to accommodate his needs.

Also (and I do know what this feels like when I've come home to Keira sometimes) the last thing she wants when she comes home from a heavy day at work is to have to face a young dog which is demanding, gets in her way, and she can't control. If your Mum can't relax in her own home, where can she go to switch off from the day?

...so here's a suggestion you're probably not going to want to hear. Meet your Mum half way. Do your best to keep Harvey out of sight for the first hour of your Mum coming home so that she has a chance to settle and unwind, and then perhaps she'll be in the right frame of mind to be able to cope with him.

Don't know if that helps at all, but hope you can find a solution that enables you to stay in your family home for as long as possible.

[Arizahn]

Also, remember that when Harvey disrespects your mum like this, he is disrespecting you too - since he is not obeying the rules that you have set out for him. He has to realise that your rules apply 100% of the time, no matter who else is there.
We had the same issue with Loki for a few months, but he has grown out of it thankfully. Now he greets by running over and orbiting the person with his tail wagging madly and his head low. Copying Abbie there, lol!
Shadow...well, thanks to the years of undiagnosed food intolerances, Shadow may never be good all the time. So we have to keep her separate from guests, etc, until she calms down enough to greet them appropriately.
Good luck!

[katy_harvey]

(02-02-2012 02:00 PM)jewels Wrote:  I agree with you on this, there's nothing more frustrating than your family not supporting you in training your dog, I have the same problem with my parents - they encourage all the bad behaviour in Keira like jumping up when greeting and also do ridiculous things like tell her off for having an accident in their kitchen. Luckily for me I don't live with them so it's only an occasional issue but I imagine for you this is a constant battle and source of tension for everyone in your home.

I have a couple of thoughts in your Mum's defence though. Looking at the situation from her perspective (forgive me if I've misjudged this) - although Harvey is living (or in your Mum's view lodging) in her house, she doesn't consider him to be her dog and therefore she feels put upon if she is expected to alter her habits to accommodate his needs.

Also (and I do know what this feels like when I've come home to Keira sometimes) the last thing she wants when she comes home from a heavy day at work is to have to face a young dog which is demanding, gets in her way, and she can't control. If your Mum can't relax in her own home, where can she go to switch off from the day?

...so here's a suggestion you're probably not going to want to hear. Meet your Mum half way. Do your best to keep Harvey out of sight for the first hour of your Mum coming home so that she has a chance to settle and unwind, and then perhaps she'll be in the right frame of mind to be able to cope with him.

Don't know if that helps at all, but hope you can find a solution that enables you to stay in your family home for as long as possible.

I think that is EXACTLY how she feels haha.
I have started walking him for an extra 20 minutes each day so that he is totally knackered by the time my mum gets home and all he does is greet her drowsily and then plods off into his crate after a while which seems to be working, and usually I am back around half 6 or 7 after my mum gets in! So hopefully this is working lol.

(02-02-2012 02:15 PM)Arizahn Wrote:  Also, remember that when Harvey disrespects your mum like this, he is disrespecting you too - since he is not obeying the rules that you have set out for him. He has to realise that your rules apply 100% of the time, no matter who else is there.
We had the same issue with Loki for a few months, but he has grown out of it thankfully. Now he greets by running over and orbiting the person with his tail wagging madly and his head low. Copying Abbie there, lol!
Shadow...well, thanks to the years of undiagnosed food intolerances, Shadow may never be good all the time. So we have to keep her separate from guests, etc, until she calms down enough to greet them appropriately.
Good luck!

Yeah I get totally annoyed to and usually put him in a room of his own because its not annoying me as much as my mum but it still annoys me, especially since he is ignoring my "leave" commands!

[Arizahn]

Good to hear that tiring him out is working! Timeouts are always useful too, but BCs definitely need the mental and physical workout!

[katy_harvey]

I know it is working a treat, or I will give him a game of "Hide the treats" and that keeps him occupied, I make my mum hide them sometimes haha